the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
