But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
