I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
