Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
MIDGETS
????
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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