so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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