if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You need Xanax blowdarts
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
