I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
