guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
