the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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