Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
