THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
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We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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