We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
