whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
