lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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