I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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