Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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