Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
