three words: i give head
three words: not that well
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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