plz talk dirty to me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
