im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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