glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize