I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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