You made me cry and you don't even care
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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