I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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