dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
