Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
