half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize