Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize