I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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