well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
