The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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