ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
