I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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