Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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