We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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