No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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