I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
