I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize