Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
