dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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