I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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