Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
