you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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