We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
