either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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