And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first