i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.