Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad

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  (716): Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad http://tfl.nu/smfo
  Replies (8) Good night (995) Bad night (961)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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  (517): I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up http://tfl.nu/4pw3
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (1408)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (17942) Bad night (1681)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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  (203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92
  Replies (33) Good night (935) Bad night (5613)
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  (650): View more from California

  Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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  (650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml
  Replies (40) Good night (5913) Bad night (1638)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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  (250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5
  Replies (30) Good night (7644) Bad night (1392)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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  (925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (2359)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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  (704): Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma. http://tfl.nu/71da
  Replies (6) Good night (1437) Bad night (599)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.

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  (208): Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/xgis
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (839)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We can put you in charge of something

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous

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  (214): We can put you in charge of something (1-214): I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous http://tfl.nu/dlb7
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (416)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (368)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.

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  (915): Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas. http://tfl.nu/6zv2
  Replies (6) Good night (643) Bad night (411)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight

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  (802): I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/4k57
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (535)
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  (516): View more from New York

  it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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  (516): it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism http://tfl.nu/zkif
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (276)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.

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  (412): At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center. http://tfl.nu/9xaw
  Replies (0) Good night (168) Bad night (258)

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