Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.