I heard we made out
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.