You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
