Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
