Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
