she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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