I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
