you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
