On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
