This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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