Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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