my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
