Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
