"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My vagina just clenched in fear
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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