We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize